garychester.org 4/30/09
Womanizing, adultery and homosexuality have some common ground. Since I once was a womanizer, I'll first talk about the combination of factors responsible for my own former sexual distortions. I'll also discuss some ways that an adulterer can fall into the trap of infidelity. And then I'll talk about how homosexuality correlates with them.
Here's how a lifestyle of womanizing started for me. Following the womanizing role modeling of a couple of older guys, (who were my heroes), I quickly became addicted. I saw nothing wrong with it. In fact I was convinced it was just the nature of normal, red-blooded males - that is, until I opened myself up to the work and power of the Holy Spirit.
(I realize my use of the term Holy Spirit can smack of wackiness and simple-mindedness to one who is unreceptive to God's forgiveness and grace, but for the broken man who comes as a child, it is the very power of God)
Besides the unfortunate role models, there were other influencers in my life. As an adolescent, my Dad never talked with me about the healthy way a man should look at sex. Then as a young child, I was once molested by a teen in my neighborhood. So, I was pre-conditioned early by these influences to view sex as something to be objectified and not for mutually loving relationships only in marriage.
Additionally, on one side of my family, there were at least two generations of womanizing men. So, is it possible I inherited a weakness in genes for distorted sexuality? And is it possible the Bible's scenario of generational transference of sin played a part in my life (Exodus 20:5)?
Was my initial warped sexuality a combination of poor role models, blood line, lack of fatherly counsel, my childhood victimization, plus my own natural human bent to sin?
I'm really not sure of the answer. But I am certain that when a person is confronted with the truth of God's mighty love and power to both forgive and to restore, God allows him the freedom to either hold onto his own destructive personal agenda, whatever the causes, or allow himself to be broken and changed into a totally new creation (Romans 12:1-2).
God's gracious offer also applies to adultery. His grace is extended to the one ensnarled in infidelity, even if the infidelity seems justified because of neglect or abuse by his or her spouse. Infidelity often begins with emotional adultery. This begins the emotional and sexual distancing from one's spouse. Then upon this emotional rupture, each of the hearts is vulnerable to being duped by the welcoming arms of someone else, who is just as mixed up and confused as they are.
And what about homosexuality? Of course, the mainstream media, Hollywood, and activist gay groups present the lifestyle as being just as natural as heterosexual relationships. They've muscled government to increasingly, legally, mandate such a view. But where does that put us as far as to what the real deal is?
Don't the factors leading to womanizing and adultery largely mirror many of those caught up in this particular lifestyle? All three may feel so right at any particular moment in time. But from God's viewpoint, is there really any difference among them (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)? Doesn't God's mighty love and power apply to all three? And doesn't His ability to rescue each of us depend on our heart's receptivity and our willingness to be broken?
Read this week’s Men Who Win newsletter “Broken” for the benefits that come from brokenness and repentance.
www.menwhowin.com - for eight minute radio shows about good sex.