Gary Chester- Helping men to win

JUST ONE EXAMPLE OF ONE-ON-ONE MINISTRY

 

 

garychester.org   3/26/09

 

 

 

As I predicted in my 3/26/09 newsletter, one-on-one ministry will be the future of Christianity as large come-to-Jesus services have become a thing of the past.  It's now  -- and really always has been -- all about relationships.   Relationships are how God uses his followers to change lives through sacrifice and service.

 

I learned of an obvious example of an one-on-one scenario in Memphis where I have a young relative whose mother and I have been lifting up for years.

 

A son of my relative has become fascinated with the guitar, and a next door neighbor who plays in a Christian rock band has come forward to offer to give the son free lessons.  I don't know this teacher personally, but I'd guess he senses a spiritual vacuum in my relative's family and sees an opportunity for sacrificial love and service.  You see, he's been paying attention.

 

God has placed my relative's family across the neighbor's path.  He is heeding God's calling and thus is warmly offering the lessons.  By caring and taking the time, he's become an instrument of God's grace. 

 

Isn't it amazing how God can use each of us and our talents when we're paying attention.  And guess what?  We enjoy ourselves when God uses us.  It's much more fulfilling than wasting away in front of our plug-in-drug or being fixated on trivial amusements.

 

(Got a personal example of one-on-one ministry?  Please email me.  gary@menwhowin.com)

WIFE DISSES HUSBAND'S NEW PRIORITIES

garychester.org   3/19/09

 

I personally have a friend who became a new Christian.  He was excited about his new life, but his wife wasn't. 

 

His wife thought his new priorities to be over the top.  He had started to jog and have a prayer and Bible reading time each morning prior to her and their children getting up.  His wife wasn't at all into exercise and definitely not into reading the Word at home.  (She thought Bible reading to be okay for church, but not at home - just too weird.)  So, after his salvation, his newly found routine bothered her not just a little bit.  As did his disinterest in one of their formerly favorite past-times - partying with their partying friends.  (Read my 3/19/09 newsletter Tyranny of the Urgent.)

 

After his radical life-change, my friend never got a “better-than-you” judgmental attitude, as some new converts unfortunately acquire.  But he couldn't help the altering of his priorities.  Another new priority was to take the kids to church, even when she stayed at home.

 

The husband figured if he intentionally tried to love her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-28), as well as being a much better father, she'd eventually be won over to Jesus.  I mean, how could she not be?  He was absolutely sure of it!  He was absolutely wrong!

 

His wife never came over, although she gave him credit for the improvements he had made as a husband and father.  She, at the time, was struggling with her own affirmation as a woman because of a hysterectomy.  She wound up leaving him and marrying a decent man (fortunately for their two kids), but a non-believer.

 

After numerous years, the former wife regretted her actions.  But by that time she was a second husband late and a new wife short.  My friend had actually waited on her until she re-married.  Then he felt released to do the same, this time to a woman whose faith was deep and real.

 

During all this time, this guy had persisted in the practice of daily solitude and silence to grow tighter with the Lord.  Ironically, this practice was something that made his second wife fall in love with him.  Funny, how the same habit can be a turn-off to one, and a turn-on to another (1 Corinthians 1:18).

 

To me, this scenario is just another example of how every detail in our lives is worked, by a loving God, into something good and cool (Romans 8:28) for those completely given to Him.

Allowing More Time to Hear from God

 

garychester.org  3/12/209

 

On Thursday of last week, I realized I had some open slots in my schedule.  Being keenly aware of some strictly business appointments I needed to make, I thought I should immediately set up appointments for early the next week.  I knew they could evolve into some extra $$ wampum needed in these times of increasingly tight dollars. 

 

But rather than impulsively setting up the appointments, I instead prayed about what to do.  I had a small quiet check in my spirit about setting up the appointments.  I sensed I should wait until Friday, the next day.

 

Then on Friday, I had a brother I occasionally mentor to contact me.  He really needed to decide about some things regarding a certain matter.  I sensed in my spirit this was a God appointment for me.  (In such matters, I always make it a matter of practice to ask God whether this is of him or not; it definitely was this time -  Proverbs 3:5-8)    

 

 

I now see why I put off setting up the business appointments.  God definitely wanted me to huddle with this brother in need. 

 

Being a naturally driven person, I have to focus on paying attention to God's calling.  If my plate is overfully full - if I'm in overload - I can be resentful toward an assignment God has for me.  So, I end up dropping the God ball and acting out of guilt rather than of His Spirit.  (To be such a smart guy, I can be good at stupid)

 

I frankly don't accurately hear God every time.  But I do sense I'm getting better at it!  I do this through dedication of more daily solitary time with Him (finding the extra time by reducing my media in-take), by praying and reading His Word, and by regularly praying with other brothers.

 

The side-effect is more calmness inside and more certainty of His mission for me.   

 

Now listen to my 8 minute radio show Traps that Prevent Making Good Decisions.

ABOUT MY "201K"

garychester.org  3/05/09

 

What to do about our 201Ks, uh, I mean, our 401Ks...and our Roth IRAs?  My wife, Ro, and I are prayerfully pondering the dilemma, as many of you also are.

 

• Do we cut our losses by dumping out of the market and put what little remains into a credit union?  (What's your advice?  gary@menwhowin.com)
• Do we, of the boomer age, continue to invest in the stock market as the government plunges headstrong into manipulation of the economy?**
• Do we bet on the market eventually recovering (preferably prior to our death) as has been its history?  Or is this a pivotal point in USA history?  Is it one that ushers in a new day, to signal the end of our 200-year history of mostly financial bling?
• Has our beloved country seen its better days because of our abandonment of God, Main Street/Wall Street greed, and the worship of our genitals?  Or I am just being pathetically negative and wrong?
• Would a few nuclear attacks on some large U.S. cities down the line cause us to surrender to our enemies because of our softness?  (Two such bombs caused Japan to surrender, and they were the fiercest of fighters)
• Could the unimaginable possibly be on the horizon - a spiritual awakening?  (Hey, hey!)

I’ve posed numerous questions here without offering my own opinion.  I maybe will offer it in a future blog, but I’m really hoping to hear from you.

 

Before writing this blog, I wrote the menwhowin.com newsletter, so as to try to grasp God's perspective on today's world.  I hope you'll read my 3/05/09 newsletter.  God's perspective always quietens my heart; because I'm convinced He's masterminding history for a wonderful Big Day of God celebration. 

 

**I ask, can anyone point to a time or place in history when democratic government has successfully manipulated the economy to restore prosperity rather than allowing a free market to correct its own sins?  If so, would you please give me details of when and where?  gary@menwhowin.com.

THE "NEGATIVE" WORD THAT EMPOWERS

garychester.org  2/26/09

Regarding my 2/26/09 Men Who Win newsletter about victory over porn, I wish to put a plug in for something that has set God loose in my own life.  95% of Christian men don't have it, and most Christian women also are missing it.  I used not to have it.  I'm glad God enabled me to find it.

It is something absolutely crucial for God to work to deliver me from some life-controling problems.

It is something I never dreamed that could give me continuously and consistently increased peace and freedom (as opposed to absolute total peace and freedom which I doubt ever is possible on this side, but I'm in hopes I'm wrong).

This something has given me power in my Christian walk to gladfully serve God through ministering to others without guilt, shame, or self-condemnation.

My family will say it's made me easier to get along with.  They observe a new kind of husband, dad, and step-dad - not a bad thing.

The something is accountability - what I need most but desire the least.  But for my own  gladness, it's got be part of the mix in my life.

I find most men don't understand what this word that has such a negative connotation is and isn't.  Accountability is not reporting into your parole officer whose main purpose is to nail you.  It is instead communing with a trusted confidant and friend or two who knows you - warts and all - and you know him just as well.

This brother has permission to ask you the hard questions and to speak into your life.  He knows your story, and you know his.  There's a soul-knitting, spirit-expanding friendship between you.

When I confess my spills to my brotherhood, it is always healing and liberating to my soul.  Not such a bad thing for accountability -- the term with such a bad connotation.

To learn How to form your own brotherhood, go to my website, www.menwhowin.com.   Click:  accountability friendships and listen

MY RESPONSE TO OUR FINANCIAL MESS

garychester.org  2/19/09

 

The nation's money meltdown has impacted most of us.  From my own personal observations, the only ones perhaps unaffected by it are mostly those employed by government.

 

Our nation's financial mess - caused by government corruption, corporate greed and our own conspicuous consumption - reveals that the root of our problem is spiritual.

 

Just like government and corporate fat cats, I'm personally tempted to cave whenever faced with that which feels satisfying and rightfully mine.  I'm enticed to defer to my darker side, which my salvation has rendered powerless -- unless I'm staying immersed in the love and power of my Creator.  Only when walking tight with Him does my heart willingly, even joyfully, choose His will which is good, pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:1-2).

 

These challenging times help to remind me, personally, of just how out-of-control my external circumstances really are.  They make me recognize - and repent of - my own natural bent toward deceptive self-sufficiency.  What a joke, uh?

 

Today's circumstances hopefully are drawing me nearer to Him through repentance, dependency, and above all, gratefulness.

ICE STORM ICES OUT GARY'S BLOGS

garychester.org  2/4/09

 

Due to the personal ramifications of the devastating ice storm that has swept through my beloved western Kentucky area, I've been behind on my blogs. 

 

The day before the storm struck, it was a terrible omen when Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel showed up in my town of Paducah, KY from which to broadcast live.  As you know, if Cantore shows up in your area, you can just about kiss your buns goodbye.

 

Will crank out some blogs about today's issues for men (that very often apply to the ladies as well) as soon as I thaw out and get time to collect my thoughts.

SHE HASN'T CAUGHT ME IN PORN

 

garychester.org 1/22/09

 

My wife has never caught me on porn websites.  That's because I don't go there and have a filter to insure I don't.

 

I've never viewed porn on the net except for one incident when a spammer tricked me once by putting something about Walmart in the subject box.  To demonstrate just how powerful porn is, I still occasionally see that image, along with the recollection of my instant preliminary stage of pre-arousal (how's that for a newly made-up term?) when I viewed it although it's been nine months ago since I was duped.

 

The experience showed me I have to be on guard in order not to be re-addicted to porn as I once was early-on in my walk with Christ (1 Peter 5:8-10).  This high-octane poison to one's sexual wellness perhaps is even more addictive than crack cocaine or meth.

 

I recommend a filter for your computer.  Need suggestions for a filter?  gary@menwhowin.com.

THE DEVIL TRYING TO KICK MY BUTT

garychester. org  1/15/09        

The devil's temptations in lust aimed at me have been so strong at times that it's been as if I've literally being down in the floor wrestling with him.  During one extended period of time, his assaults came in waves a half dozen times daily.

Even as someone who's indwelled by God's Holy Spirit, I have mentally yielded at times to the temptations.  The devil has enticed me to indulge in remembrances of delightful but extraordinarily destructive images from past years of promiscuity.  With such a bank of memories, I don't really need outside porn from the internet to experience a time of mental sinning.  I have enough porn archived in my hard drive (brain) which can be retrieved if I so choose.  (But oh the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:28 and Paul in 1 Cor 6:13-20).

Whenever I caved, guilt and shame followed.  Then came confession (Psalms 51:1-6), and the wonderful provision to restore fellowship with God (1 John 1:9).  This is the modus operandi of all whole-hearted lovers of God when we unfortunately have allowed ourselves to be conned by the enemy and have yielded to our own destructive desires.  (Read my 1/15/09 newsletter Satan Barks Orders from nearby Field)

Back when I was taking such a beating from temptation, God all this time was working in my heart to get me to recognize my need for an accountability friend, a confidant or two.  Through these few deep-spirited friends, he would bring - and still is bringing - increased power, liberation and freedom (James 5:16) which I had previously never experienced.

Now years later, I'm still being tempted but am much stronger to resist the devil's bait. I do this paradoxically through both my own weakness and through God's empowerment (2 Cor 1:18) via confession and support of tight buds whose confidentiality I trust.

TO THE UNSAVED:  If you've never received the gift of new life through the Holy Spirit, this blog most likely sounds like craziness and foolishness to you (I Cor 1:19).  But if you're a wholehearted lover of God, you also have experienced intense battles in some kind of temptation (i.e. pride, anger, drugs, booze, materialism, shopping, etc). I'd like to know about them.  If I use your story in a newsletter or blog, your identity will remain anonymous.  gary@menwhowin.com.

www.menwhowin.com - for my eight minute radio shows about victory over anger and porn.

The Devil Trying to Kick my Butt

 

 

garychester. org  1/08/09       

 

The devil's temptations aimed at me in lust have been so strong at times that it's been as if I've literally being down in the floor wrestling with him.  For a period of time, his assaults came in waves a half dozen times every day.  He unfortunately managed to kick my butt too many times.

 

(Sorry, but I don't have time to finish this blog.  I'll do so by 1/15/09)

 

TO THE UNSAVED:  As I write this, I realize that if you've never received the gift of new life through the Holy Spirit, this blog most likely sounds like foolishness (I Cor 18-20) to you.  But if you're a wholehearted lover of God, you also have experienced intense battles in some kind of temptation (i.e. pride, anger, drugs, booze, materialism, shopping, etc). I'd like to know your story.  If I use your story in a newsletter or blog, your identity will remain anonymous.  gary@menwhowin.com